Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's time for a new yr...

It's almost Christmas, and I'm content. Work is going just fine. (Unfortunately, I work all next week & the following~which means I work Christmas & New Year's eves & holidays--but I have weekends off still, so that's a plus.) I didn't pass my pre-entrance exam (but I only have to retake 2 of the 4 parts of the test this time) so I'm going to look into some classes to help me out in the spring. :) Life @ home is normal for me, nothing new. The b/f is an interesting case. He hasn't truely worked in over a month, but is working weekend evenings @ a local club cooking. It seems to me as tho he has no desire to really work & earn money. He says he does, but if he did he wouldn't be in this situation. Christmas is less than a week away & after after 2 1/2 yrs & can honestly say I'm more than excited to work & be busy on Christmas day. I don't wanna think about the fact that I'm getting nothing special for Christmas. You'd think that he would've saved up (knowing Christmas only comes once a yr), but NO! No money for any gifts for anyone. Who does that? Who doesn't even attempt to go Christmas shopping? In a long-term relationship, it's a given that birthdays & holidays are NEVER forgotten. I don't get it. He acts like nothing's wrong & all he can say is "Do you wanna leave me?," and most of the time I say to myself 'YES!'. So I tell him no b/c I love him(I really do), I just can't stand knowing what's available out there & what he says he can't do so he doesn't even try. I'm so tired of the laziness. Pure laziness. I'm hoping that Christmas w/ my family will brighten my spirits some & I'll forget all about how upset I truely am inside. I know it doesn't help w/ the holidays making me think of my dad. It's the 'family' thing, & I always miss how it used to be when I was young. Watching what mom & dad both open what they got from Santa. Oh well. I guess it will all work itself out. At least I hope so. I know I'm completely stuck. Can't turn back, can't go around it, & can't go forward @ all. It might actually do me some good this yr to bring in the new yr alone too. (Since I work, I'm not doing anything.)

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! 8-)

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