Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's time for a new yr...

It's almost Christmas, and I'm content. Work is going just fine. (Unfortunately, I work all next week & the following~which means I work Christmas & New Year's eves & holidays--but I have weekends off still, so that's a plus.) I didn't pass my pre-entrance exam (but I only have to retake 2 of the 4 parts of the test this time) so I'm going to look into some classes to help me out in the spring. :) Life @ home is normal for me, nothing new. The b/f is an interesting case. He hasn't truely worked in over a month, but is working weekend evenings @ a local club cooking. It seems to me as tho he has no desire to really work & earn money. He says he does, but if he did he wouldn't be in this situation. Christmas is less than a week away & after after 2 1/2 yrs & can honestly say I'm more than excited to work & be busy on Christmas day. I don't wanna think about the fact that I'm getting nothing special for Christmas. You'd think that he would've saved up (knowing Christmas only comes once a yr), but NO! No money for any gifts for anyone. Who does that? Who doesn't even attempt to go Christmas shopping? In a long-term relationship, it's a given that birthdays & holidays are NEVER forgotten. I don't get it. He acts like nothing's wrong & all he can say is "Do you wanna leave me?," and most of the time I say to myself 'YES!'. So I tell him no b/c I love him(I really do), I just can't stand knowing what's available out there & what he says he can't do so he doesn't even try. I'm so tired of the laziness. Pure laziness. I'm hoping that Christmas w/ my family will brighten my spirits some & I'll forget all about how upset I truely am inside. I know it doesn't help w/ the holidays making me think of my dad. It's the 'family' thing, & I always miss how it used to be when I was young. Watching what mom & dad both open what they got from Santa. Oh well. I guess it will all work itself out. At least I hope so. I know I'm completely stuck. Can't turn back, can't go around it, & can't go forward @ all. It might actually do me some good this yr to bring in the new yr alone too. (Since I work, I'm not doing anything.)

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! 8-)

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Hoping for a new beginning...

I got a new job @ Shadyside Hospital a few wks ago as a telephone operator. I like it SO MUCH better that the old job! ;) Every job has its drama & rough points, but for the most part taking this job was for the better. I took my pre-admissions exam last saturday to get into nursing school. Let's hope I get in. *crosses fingers*

The love life is a whole different story. It's been going pretty downhill for quite a few months now, I've just chose to ignore it. I've hit the end. I can't handle it anymore. There are days I wanna avoid him completely & say go the f*** away, & other days I sorta miss how it used to be. It was nice in the beginning. Cards, flowers, & just being so interested in how my day went. Now; it's like 'eh, w/e'. He'll listen, but there's next to no interest. :-\ There are several options that have arose to start a new beginning & be happy again. I just don't really know how to do it. I love this one, I really do. I just can't stand how he lives his life & doesn't care or have any intentions of changing how he does things. (Or should I say, things he doesn't do?) Job-wise I'm content, friends & family-wise I'm wonderful--I miss them all!; but love-wise I just don't seem happy anymore. There just seems to be no future there anymore. All I see is living next to a junk yard--which I don't want! I think it's about time for an upgrade in my life. Time for something/someone who isn't always gonna have me so worried about what's coming next. I'd rather just be wondering instead of worrying. O:-)

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

An Update On Life...

Well work @ Magee is still the same--SUCKSSSS!!! But I've gone on several interviews lately so lets hope something goes good. ;)

And I know it seems like everyone says this, but for me I really believe it's true: "Once something good comes along, something bad always seems to follow."
I go thru all these interviews & a few seem pretty promising, but of course my mother HAS to ruin it by saying "I hope your boyfriend will still pick you up @ 11 when you work that late even w/ his new job." ..He's gotta work be @ work @ 6am, and she just leaves @ that time & she still wants HIM to come all that way to pick me up from work, take me home, & go home himself?! I DON'T THINK SO!!!

But anywho, life as a whole is okay. I still can't wait to get my new ring & become stable enough to get outta here! Then; early next year, I'll be going to Florida to check out some beaches to see exactly where it's all gonna take place in 2010. 8-) I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

Well; that's a basic update on my life. Ttyl <3>

(Destin, FL) 8-)

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

It's been about a year since I last wrote on here. Well; all is well, & going on 2 years w/ the boyfriend! ;-) It seems like it's been SO much longer, I just can't believe it. I started working at Magee-Women's Hospital in September '07 doing housekeeping and escorting on the labor and delivery unit.

As for last month-it couldn't of gone by fast enough. I had been having constant headaches w/ MAJOR pressure for about 2 months beforehand, and saw a neurosurgeon on March 31, 2008. As it turned out, I needed major brain surgery and a spinal tap to measure the amount of fluid & pressure in my head. (They were certain that my shunt had failed; which meant I had a blockage and fluid had built up on my brain-hence the headaches w/ pressure.) So on the morning of April 8, 2008, I had my surgery. (REALLY freaky how I had my shunt originally placed on April 12, 1987--ALMOST exactly 21 years later!) They put me to sleep and did the spinal tap; then, went in and removed the blockage and the fluid instantly started draining right again. Immediately after surgery while I was laying in the recovery room, I started to cry b/c I didn't have a headache anymore. Having as many medical problems as I did as a kid, it's pretty amazing when the surgeon comes to see you after surgery and tell you to your face "You were VERY CLOSE to dying before that surgery!". It's funny knowing I thought I felt fine before. I was just getting older which meant I inherited the bad headaches that my family all has. And NOW. I feel SO much better! The scariest part to me (besides the surgeon telling me I almost died) was knowing that a normal amount of pressure and fluid on the brain is 70%, and my percentage on the day of surgery was OVER 300%! That's SO DEADLY!!!!!

Anyway, I'm all better now. Having a nice time being off work for 6 weeks. Going back the week of May 19th. BOO! haha Aside from all that craziness, on April 11, 2008, a very good family friend passed away of a massive heart attack at the age of 56! It hit everyone so hard. I took it so hard not only b/c I KNEW he would be the ONE person to wanna see my scar right away just to make a joke about to make me laugh and for the fact that he was the life of all the family get togethers at my aunts, but b/c the whole time I thought to myself "that COULD'VE been me". Really changes your outlook on life. RIP Rich! ;(