Saturday, January 24, 2009

As one life ends, another begins...

Christmas was nice. I worked & spent it w/ family. New Year's was absolutely horrible. Nin & I talked on New Year's Eve & decided that we'd bring in the new year together-sleeping. LOL We did, it was nice. Only to then find out that Nin was NOT doing good @ all. She passed away on Jan 2, 2009. She had been 8 yrs lung cancer free, had had a pericardial window(to drain the excess fluid) put into her heart, almost had cyfoplasty(a very strong form of radiation), had cyberknife done to fix her back, ended up w/ C Diff & that was pretty much when we knew. She just didn't get any better after the back surgery. She had also had several aneurysms that had started rapidly growing w/in the past yr or so. Her aneurysms in her abdomin had broken & thats really what killed her more than the horrible infection from the C Diff. It's taken quite a toll on everyone. As for me; I'm here. Trying to hang in there, but not really working so well. It's killing me. I'm really just not thinking about it. The fact of a very good friend passing away that same day from Leukemia(he was my age), did not help matters either. I'm just one giant mess anymore. I fully admit to it & have no clue how I'm gonna fix it.

As for the b/f situation. It's trouble. Big trouble! I've hit my breaking point. I can't sit back & watch him laze around one more day. I just can't. I most definitely can't see myself 5 yrs down the road, getting really sick & having to be off work but can't b/c there's no money to pay for anything since he doesn't have a steady job. I just can't do it!

Now let's just hope my wisdom teeth get taken out soon--I really can't wait anymore! *crosses fingers*

My mom's friend just had her baby girl yesterday & I'm so happy for her. Her (almost)1 yr old son will have someone to play w/. :-D She's so adorable too!